


Kramer Zone: Origins

by mat



Category: Futurama, Seinfeld
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen, Post-Canon, Prequel, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:28:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26902141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mat/pseuds/mat
Summary: The beginnings for why the Kramer Zone exists as it does.
Kudos: 1





	Kramer Zone: Origins

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Letters from the Kramer Zone](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24383194) by [epicenelyapophenic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/epicenelyapophenic/pseuds/epicenelyapophenic). 



> I've tagged this for the Futurama fandom because it takes place in the same universe, but there's no Futurama in here. Please do write a continuation set in the 31st century.

"Kramer, are you comfortable? Here, let me take out that gag. We know they taste bad, we're working on getting new ones in soon."  
"Uhhh, what the hell is going on here? Are you finally letting me go?"  
"I'm afraid not, but our testing has indeed come to an end. The others have been returned to the prison for processing to officially finish out their sentences."  
"Well what about me? Are you gonna tell me what's going on?"  
"I will, but it's going to be a lot to take in. You see, as we studied you and your friends, the Bizarro Samaritans, it became clear that your brain, the brain of Cosmo Kramer, works quite differently to anybody else's. It seems you lack a Delta Brainwave, which means your mind is configured in a unique fashion, giving your thoughts the potential to be both very powerful and very dangerous. We don't know the exact cause, although we think it has something to do with incest, maybe a genetic mutation; it's theorized that Hitler had no Delta Brainwave. We've seen one other confirmed case of a mind like yours, in a young man also from New York City, although he has been in a state of suspended animation for some time and is unlikely to ever wake up. So for now, we have you. Using the research we've gathered from you and your friends, we intend to devise a sort of test, if you will. Everyone will be sorted into different categories; they'll be an Elaine, a George, a Jerry, or if they're very unlucky and possess no Delta Brainwave, they'll be labeled a Kramer. A personality test of this sort will be much quicker, easier and, most importantly, cheaper than analyzing everyone's brains individually. We're very lucky you came along."  
"Lucky? You scooped us up out of jail and studied us like lab rats! That's not luck!"  
"Yes, we did indeed choose to study people proven to be undoubtedly lacking in empathy, we just weren't banking of finding a goldmine of an anomaly such as yourself."  
"So are we done? What happens now? What are you going to do with me?"  
"An excellent question! We've founded a sort of extra-dimensional prison where people like you will be sent to live out their lives."  
"Prison? Wait, no! I did my time!"  
"Well there's nothing we can do, I'm afraid. Your kind just has to be contained. There's no telling what you're capable of."  
"Hey, what's the big idea?"  
"Idea? Why, it was your idea which gave us the notion in the first place."  
"Uh, what's that now?"  
"Well isn't it obvious? Levels! A discrete taxonomy with distinction between the lower, you, and the higher, everybody else. A clear delineation with no uncertainty. Do you understand, Kramer?"  
"Well, not really, no. You're saying you're going to send me to another dimension?"  
"Very close to the truth. For a while now, the US government has been studying the boundaries of metaphysics. It seems a Dr. Lewis has discovered a kind of gateway between our world and another. If her theories are true, and we get the funding, we'll be able to house deviants such as yourself. Keep you securely contained away from the wider world, safe and sound."  
"But I don't wanna be safe and sound!"  
"I'm afraid you've misunderstood. It's for our protection, not yours. Trust me, Kramer, this is really for the best."


End file.
